Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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