She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
