i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Enjoy the penises
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize