i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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