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I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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