Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
