There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
