Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
