I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
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Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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