We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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