Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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