The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
