your room smells of hookers.
And success
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
