I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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