Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
