Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
