taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
