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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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