Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize