I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so let's talk penis.
I'm passing your future prison.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
