Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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