someone get that fucking seahorse.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
