the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize