I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
