I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
