Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
