And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
