I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
