no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
