guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
