Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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