I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
