I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
