please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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