we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
