i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
