Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
