when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
