I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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