I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
