he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
