3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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