Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
