there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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