Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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