I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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