I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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