i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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