Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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