I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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