I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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