Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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