for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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