we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize