im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
