Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
