We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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