Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
