he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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