If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I didn't notice because vodka
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
