When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
