Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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